Post #236,841
12/2/05 8:50:12 AM
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I need to develop a program, virus if you will
that will examine a computers hard drive to see if there are any *.xls files. If it finds any examine the file for formulas. No formulas all data is zapped and a line in the first cell at font point 26, bold italic will proclaim USE A FUCKING DATABASE TO STORE DATA YOU FUCKING MORON!
grumpily on another inventory from hell,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #236,842
12/2/05 8:53:14 AM
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Eejit.
Excel (and, indeed, any spreadsheet) is a fine tool for simplistic data analysis, where SQL is not required.
Now fuck off, you wanker.
Peter
[link|http://www.no2id.net/|Don't Let The Terrorists Win]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
Use P2P for legitimate purposes!
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Post #236,964
12/3/05 9:40:34 PM
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mailed a copy for you to wank off to in the bog
a relational database is what that needs, and one is being built as we speak, this is too fucked to deal with.
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #236,845
12/2/05 9:26:30 AM
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While you're writing that invasive pile of cack
instead of being a destructive eejit...if you like Access so GD much then instead of being very "artistic" and changing the blasted font...why don't you just give the command "save as" and change the file type to database table.
Or, alternatively, you could pack up your "my way or highway" attitude into a comfy box...and shove it up your patootie hole.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #237,165
12/6/05 11:54:10 AM
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He said, "database." Access is not a database. HTH.
bcnu,
Mikem
It would seem, therefore, that the three human impulses embodied in religion are fear, conceit, and hatred. The purpose of religion, one might say, is to give an air of respectibility to these passions. -- Bertrand Russell
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Post #237,176
12/6/05 12:14:57 PM
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ICLRPD: He said, "database." Access is not a database. HTH. (new thread)
Created as new thread #237175 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=237175|ICLRPD: He said, "database." Access is not a database. HTH.]
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #237,193
12/6/05 2:33:06 PM
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He said, "Access"...Heh, heh...heh, heh, heh
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #236,859
12/2/05 11:11:31 AM
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Have you ever seen the databases that Excel people design?
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #236,862
12/2/05 11:28:29 AM
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Your way or highway, eh?
Imagine everybody thinking like Boxley... What a wonderful world that would be...
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Post #236,879
12/2/05 3:42:16 PM
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it would be darwinianly efficient
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #236,883
12/2/05 4:52:01 PM
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yahbut...
in that world, everything seems to resolve down to mayhem, brothels, blowjobs, or bowel functions. Possibly best you stay a minority rather than global role model.
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Post #236,943
12/3/05 11:40:20 AM
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yabbut the kranoj pickings would be superb
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #236,885
12/2/05 4:58:09 PM
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Yup, sure would.
It might even result in Box being removed from the gene pool, and if the trait is dominant, his current progeny as well.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #237,170
12/6/05 12:00:08 PM
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nope, at the end of the day there will be a boxlike creature
sitting on top of a pile of rubble in the screamscape opening a beer with his teeth.
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #236,872
12/2/05 2:06:43 PM
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Let the users develop their concepts.
At least they're 'buying in' to an IT system. Remind them that hard drives and Excel crash and that if it's that useful, other people need to access it.
Matthew Greet
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
- Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
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