Fortunately, I am not smacking my forehead uttering,"I coulda had a V-8 ."

I remember trying to get help after I miscarried my first pregnancy. The year was 1985. I went to the doc and, in very plain English, told him, "I am depressed!" His response was to put me on an 1800 calorie diet supplemented by the drug, Fastin. Harumph! The worst part was that it was a D.O.! I expected a more holistic approach than "lose weight, sweetie". Needless to say, I did not take the pseudo-speed. And,I never went back to that quack.

It has been a long, arduous journey. The decisions I have made WRT keeping relationships at arm's length came with much introspection and anaylysis. Don't forget, I was a debater in high school and college. Having that "in my blood" has served me well. I don't believe in burning bridges to the ground, but now there are toll booths on a few. That seems to keep the traffic to a minimum.

Thank you for the book reference. The reason I reached wellness so quickly was due to my research and willingness to read as many appropriate materials as possible. I read Kay Jamieson's An Unquiet Mind, which showed me how lucky I am that I am BP II and not BP I. It shed great light on the fact that my father was undiagnosed BP I - which explained a lot of his behavior in retrospect.

As far as meds go, I am hesitant to change now that I feel the "mix" is correct. It takes a lot of trial and error to get the cocktail just right. However, I have just recently become aware of a natural alternative that I am curious about trying. Even though one of my mottos is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it.", I find myself in the predicament of having no prescription drug coverage. If there is a way to fend off this horrible affliction without an Rx, Hooray!

I must say that I have been fascinated with the study of brain chemistry and the impact of hormones on brain function. (Bionerd, if you have any comments, I welcome them :-) )

So, in closing, Thank you, dear Ashton, for your supportive words and intuitive observations. Knowing that there are people "in my corner" makes all the difference in the world. It shows me that, in spite of the darkness, a new day is just on the horizon. Bless you.

Peace,
Amy