Have some experience of a couple of those, and some experience of 'cutting|off' a diseased limb of the "family" tree. In Tree pruning -hindsight- I can only say that, having made that decision after a particular event / observing how it was handled by the bent-saplings: I could.. beat Self up for having not stayed in touch a tiny bit, re possibly 'helping' a couple of the younger ones?
(that word ought always be in quotes, we see).
But no regrets re the ones fully-formed in arrant knavery. That would have been the sort of unnecessary suffering which - - see 'Puritans', below ;-)

Overall, it seems - that while you don't want to drop the atom bomb on Luxembourg - I Divorce You | I Divorce You can be a more healthful and complete solution to certain pernicious family habits (and habitats) than pretending that

~ It Doesn't Matter that I can't Stand being around X - why, S/He's my ___ After all! cha cha cha

As to the internal stuff you suppressed-for-cause and had to overcome -
I can appreciate that it took a long time to work through the effects, and trust that you aren't beating Self up for ~ "hows come I'm so fucking slow-to-realize and Do something." Etc.

My guess is (often!) that examination of the owl-entrails through the warped-lens of, Yes, *#%&*^ Puritanism, again - gives a clue to many situations as fill the Social Work clinics in Murica. Compound this mindset with the Shrub-type adolescent-Stubborness about the idea that, "family === GOOD"
(and if you don't Think So, >You< be BAD.) What a combo!

But it's hard for most to wrench free from such conditioning (and our absurd ways of not-dealing with their effects). These myths are inculcated from the crib, with the same tenacity as the $God choice settled-on in that particular nursery.

Glad you've shed the major toxins to (what I suppose to be, by-any-other-name -- a constant, daily attack upon the immune system). And anyone who doesn't Believe that you can/do Make Yourself Sick -- I'd never even bother to 'argue' with. Nobody knows much of how that system Works, but we are constantly finding out what it means for overall Wellness (not just freedom from some AMA-defined 'disease' or syndrome or __ ) -- when it is fucked up.

I also know a family in the bi-polar niche; fortunately they are (by now) pretty sane about vetting punctiliously any 'medications', and in minutely examining the bases for any diagnoses, then running down all options they can sleuth; especially including a decent diet of fresh foods, 'live' if possible.

I've witnessed a few such results. ie Inescapable today, with anonymous technician-specialist-MDs on a time clock - one must become one's Own Doctor / decision maker. For oneself or for a semi-dependent.
[Gawd, have I grown to despise the way nurses say robotically, "Doctor -not, 'the doctor'- Will See You Now". And, "you'll need some medications." - But I digress'.]

I've read (painfully) the best overall book my friend found as a decent intro to the depression/bi-polar/'Borderline-Personality-Disorder' milieu. Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason, M.S. and Randi Kreger. If you don't know this one - might be worth a perusal at bookstore; it is at least not insulting to intelligence and they are careful about qualifying all those what-ifs? as many other writers (seem to) take to be: er "settled law".

That there are techno-sounding words for "these conditions" - does not mean that much at all is actually Understood -- it seems though, that there is now at least a skeleton around which to hang one's own personal experience. I gather that this is a pretty recent stage.
(I don't much care to learn a lot about.. x years ago / not with all the other crap coming home to Roost.)

The nuclear-grade drugs really are last-resort, yet sometimes, at our present level of ignorance - necessary. Dosages are entirely a matter of clever trials of precise dosages On That Person! and waiting patiently, watching; No! Seeing with full Attention.. and if more than one drug is employed: there are lots of possible weirdnesses in a particular person's metabolism, genes and Cthulhu Knows what else.
(And when you combine above with advanced aging ...)

(Book may also piss you off, if you recognize in 20/20, any of the errors described.. in previous of your efforts.) Them's the breaks. Remember - a few years back - this was really a jargon-driven / not (adequate) research-results-driven pseudo-science. It still is - as regards a dearth of trustworthy info re interactions amidst the several popular meds. {sigh} No Money in That! WTF would fund something which can't result in a sale of Something, pretty soon?


Hang in there - you're better off than many; you have a functioning mind!
(I once spent an afternoon in a white coat, with a psych-tech friend at a er, 'facility'. Without the coat .. well, some of the techs would have a hard time exiting, too. It's a Circus - get the cotton candy!)


Believe Nothing: test (!)