I can be who I am 24/7, but I dont have a lot of faith that "it'll just happen". And I was "who I am" when I met my ex husband and look where that got me. If being "who I am" attracts that kind of man, and if I'm too dumb not to be able to screen him out, then I'm better off alone.]
If you truly take a look at yourself and see things about yourself that are destined to attract those kind of men, you can make efforts to change them.
I am not commenting about you, because I don't know who and what you are, and wouldn't dare to assume. That's for you to assess, no one else.
I'm simply saying that for years, I did attract "those kind of men" who were not good for me, (or anyone else), and my victim-syndrome personality, and behavior caused those attractions. I made efforts to change, and those kind of men vanished from the scene. Instead, I met John, and he is nothing like anyone from my past.
Brenda