Why are woman so attracted to these animals? I'm sure they hunt their prey, but why are they so successful? Surely there are plenty of warning signs. Meanwhile there are plenty of reasonably nice guys who have a hard time getting a date so why do women chose these? Is it their aggressivenes?


In my case, he charmed me with who he could be, and showed me a completely different side of himself. I never would have figured him for an abusive cheating type. But, as time went on, and he was living with my parents because his parents threw him out, I was seeing more and more that he had a dangerous side.

Edit: I was naive at the time, and thought that the volatile combination us living with my parents was the problem. I believed it would clear up when we got away from my parent's house which was dysfunctional in nature, to say the least.

Yes, there were signs, I simply failed to see them for a long time, due to my desperateness to get away from my parents, (our double income allowed us to get an apartment), and due to my belief it was all my fault. I was causing him to be angry. I was causing him to do this or that. If I had brought in the mail, he wouldn't have thrown my stuff.

By the time I realized I was rationalizing completely insane behavior, I felt trapped. To this day I regret having stayed so long, but I just wouldn't see him for what he was.

So why are we attracted to them? I think they target us, and yes, maybe they do it aggressively, not in an angry aggressive way though, more like a pushy,overbearing way. I think they see that we're low self-esteem human beings, and that we are ripe to be exploited, and zero in on us. I know the one who sexually abused me before this one, did that. He as much as admitted to me that he chose people who were so beaten down with their self-worth that they would settle for anyone. Then he charmed me like the ex-fiance, and then he sexually abused me.

They are clever, they are slick. You wouldn't know them as an abuser on the street, they don't fit a profile in public life. But inside, they are. And by the time you find it out, sometimes it's too late.

Does that help answer your question? If not, please be more specific and I'll try and respond.

Brenda

Edit: P.S. If it helps, both of my abusers moved on to new people within weeks. The sexual abuser moved on to my best friend, despite my trying to warn her, and the ex-fiance moved on by marrying the woman he cheated on me with... then later cheated on her with his best friend's wife, and then they both got divorces and he is now WITH his best friend's ex-wife. SO that should also help explain that I was not the reason he left me or treated me bad... it was simply his nature.