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Welcome to IWETHEY!

New Oh the new thing is here
and its Six Sigma and "Root Cause" pap.

Soon we'll be ready for the TQM revival...right after we all do our dissertation on "Who Moved My Cheese".



If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition

[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
New root cause analysis
who you can force to take the blame. Im good at that one, we only can take blame if we did not follow the designed process. So it is your (vendor, user, partner) process that is faulty.
thanx,
bill
All tribal myths are true, for a given value of "true" Terry Pratchett
[link|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/]

Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New You don't have any chesse at all, do you?
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
New Well, you'll have to hear how QA/Process techniques
can be applied to judging evidence in a criminal case. But I'm not quite ready to tell about it yet.

Tony
New oh gawd you have a phb as a jury forman? sux
All tribal myths are true, for a given value of "true" Terry Pratchett
[link|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/]

Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New No, he got knocked off
by prosecutor's preemptory challenge. I don't know yet if I'll be on or off yet, as week 2 of jury selection starts (and we just added another 50 people to the jury pool).

When things are settled I'll add more details.

Tony
New One-up them with "Ten-nines"
(The desired purity of materials re 'spectroscopic purity' calibrations)

No, of course it doesn't have to be relevant to some bizness fantasy; but ya gets to be deemed
The Farsighted ---> One, always thinking of New Ways for
Growing the Enterprise

(or)

..as that insufferable twit from School for Scoundrels.


Are there any DVDs of some of these Newspeak bizness 'meetings'?
I. think. it. could. sell . . .
New Six Sigma.
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie , then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not." answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a Six Sigma Black Belt." said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog!"
bcnu,
Mikem

Eine Leute. Eine Welt. Ein F\ufffdhrer.
God Bless America.
New wiping coffee out of my keyboard :-)
All tribal myths are true, for a given value of "true" Terry Pratchett
[link|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/|http://boxleys.blogspot.com/]

Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New Bwahahaha!
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
]
Imric's Tips for Living
  • Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
  • Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
  • Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.


Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
 
 


New I've heard the same joke for
Arthur Android
Northrup Grumman
AI
Etc,
etc,
etc

Still good though.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
New I'd heard it as a blonde joke first
other variants followed
New :-)
     who redefined customer? - (andread) - (18)
         3M - (bepatient)
         Natch. We're a capitalist society, aren't we? - (mmoffitt) - (1)
             Actually has little to do with that. - (bepatient)
         correctly so - (boxley)
         gawd, is that still going on? - (rcareaga) - (13)
             Oh the new thing is here - (bepatient) - (12)
                 root cause analysis - (boxley)
                 You don't have any chesse at all, do you? -NT - (folkert)
                 Well, you'll have to hear how QA/Process techniques - (tonytib) - (2)
                     oh gawd you have a phb as a jury forman? sux -NT - (boxley) - (1)
                         No, he got knocked off - (tonytib)
                 One-up them with "Ten-nines" - (Ashton)
                 Six Sigma. - (mmoffitt) - (5)
                     wiping coffee out of my keyboard :-) -NT - (boxley)
                     Bwahahaha! -NT - (imric)
                     I've heard the same joke for - (jbrabeck) - (1)
                         I'd heard it as a blonde joke first - (hnick)
                     :-) -NT - (Another Scott)

She's like a little piece of shrapnel inextricably lodged in the body politic.
76 ms