\ufffd The Uncensored News \ufffd___

As a courtesy to those who have heard of newspapers printed on dead trees - but rarely actually see one; these excerpts from the SF Chronicle Comics section, the only unspun section of them all:

(Had to send a summary overseas, so.. WTF cut&paste - we're a third-world country too, what with Unity and all)

Doonesbury

Recap: the Conservative guy* (C) is trying to explain the New Rules to a character wearing a fez. Again. Call him (F) They're sitting across a table.

*Andy corrects: "In Doonsbury (C) is not "Conservative Guy", he's "Good Cop" of "Good Cop/Bad Cop" FBI pair interrogating (F)". (I missed mid-week)

1) (F) I'm not just being inconvenienced here! I could be sent to a militaty tribunal, tried in secret and shot! All perfectly legal now!

2) (F) Do you know where else they have trials like that, my friend? Iraq! The country I fled from to come to America!

3) (C) WHOA ...

4) (C) Too bad irony's dead. (F) (hand over face) Yes, that would have helped.

Sylvia

Mom (M) has locked herself in the bathroom, is in the tub. Daughter (D) trying to lure her out.

1) (D) Ma, aren't you getting wrinkled? When are you coming out?
(M) - When I can be sure this country's back to business as usual, I'll be out.

2) (D) How's this: The Bush Administration announced that the Interior Department would no longer have authority ..
(M) - yes?

3) (D) to veto mining projects on public land.
(M) - if the mining interests are happy, I'm happy. What's for dinner?

Zippy

(Z) and his long-nosed friend (L) [as distinguished from the long-jawed friend] Title: "Circuit Breaker"

1) (L) This directory of Vaudeville Acts from 1924 lists hundreds of utterly forgotten performers!
(Z) Is this before Louie Prima?

2) (L) Entire categories of entertainment have disappeared.. What's an Equilibrist ?
(Z) I don't know, but if it doesn't involve Computer Generated Imagery, it can't be Real!

3) (L) This is beyond Sad.. it's mind-numbing. How can we go on in the face of such Loss?
(Z) "L'il Kim and the Backstreet Boys" will be known for all eternity, that much I know for certain!

4) (L) Who remembers, "Trixie Fraganza" ? or "The Great Farini" ? .. not to mention"Van & Schenck' ? ..or..
(Z) That's because they didn't have TV or the Web! With them, everything is permanent.

The Fusco Brothers

The girl at the bar, and Lance? (beret)

(G) I'm looking for a man with a strong sense of Right and Wrong.
(L) Hey, I'm still struggling with my sense of Right and Left.

Wizard of Id

Madame Seer (M) and a er soldier (S) across a crystal ball on table.

1) (M) Some day people will vote their leaders into office.
(S) No more tyrants?

2) (M) On the contrary, there will be hundreds!

Well, boys and girls - the Hippity Hoppity Bunny Hour has come at last to a close. Remember! you Boy Scouts, what Uncle Tom Lehrer tells you in, Be Prepared:

Post #20,833 by Ashton 12/9/01 4:19:40 PM 12/9/01 5:54:49 PM Reply	\ufffd The Uncensored News \ufffd____ Saturday edition As a courtesy to those who have heard of newspapers printed on dead trees - but rarely actually see one; these excerpts from the SF Chronicle Comics section, the only unspun section of them all: (Had to send a summary overseas, so.. WTF cut&paste - we're a third-world country too, what with Unity and all) Doonesbury Recap: the Conservative guy* (C) is trying to explain the New Rules to a character wearing a fez. Again. Call him (F) They're sitting across a table. Andy corrects: "In Doonsbury (C) is not "Conservative Guy", he's "Good Cop" of "Good Cop/Bad Cop" FBI pair interrogating (F)". (I missed mid-week) 1) (F) I'm not just being inconvenienced here! I could be sent to a militaty tribunal, tried in secret and shot!* All perfectly legal now! 2) (F) Do you know where else they have trials like that, my friend? Iraq! The country I fled from to come to America! 3) (C) WHOA ... 4) (C) Too bad irony's dead. (F) (hand over face) Yes, that would have helped. Sylvia Mom (M) has locked herself in the bathroom, is in the tub. Daughter (D) trying to lure her out. 1) (D) Ma, aren't you getting wrinkled? When are you coming out? (M) - When I can be sure this country's back to business as usual, I'll be out. 2) (D) How's this: The Bush Administration announced that the Interior Department would no longer have authority .. (M) - yes? 3) (D) to veto mining projects on public land. (M) - if the mining interests are happy, I'm happy. What's for dinner? Zippy (Z) and his long-nosed friend (L) [as distinguished from the long-jawed friend] Title: "Circuit Breaker" 1) (L) This directory of Vaudeville Acts from 1924 lists hundreds of utterly forgotten performers! (Z) Is this before Louie Prima? 2) (L) Entire categories of entertainment have disappeared.. What's an Equilibrist ? (Z) I don't know, but if it doesn't involve Computer Generated Imagery, it can't be Real! 3) (L) This is beyond Sad.. it's mind-numbing. How can we go on in the face of such Loss? (Z) "L'il Kim and the Backstreet Boys" will be known for all eternity, that much I know for certain! 4) (L) Who remembers, "Trixie Fraganza" ? or "The Great Farini" ? .. not to mention"Van & Schenck' ? ..or.. (Z) That's because they didn't have TV or the Web! With them, everything is permanent. The Fusco Brothers The girl at the bar, and Lance? (beret) (G) I'm looking for a man with a strong sense of Right and Wrong. (L) Hey, I'm still struggling with my sense of Right and Left. Wizard of Id Madame Seer (M) and a er soldier (S) across a crystal ball on table. 1) (M) Some day people will vote their leaders into office. (S) No more tyrants? 2) (M) On the contrary, there will be hundreds! Well, boys and girls - the Hippity Hoppity Bunny Hour has come at last to a close. Remember! you Boy Scouts, what Uncle Tom Lehrer tells you in, Be Prepared: Don't solicit for your sister.. that's not nice. ..Unless you get a good percentage of her price. Edited by Missing User 70 Dec. 9, 2001, 05:54:49 PM EST Expand All History
Post #20,835 by Andrew Grygus 12/9/01 5:04:10 PM Reply	Minor correction: In Doonsbury (C) is not "Conservative Guy", he's "Good Cop" of "Good Cop/Bad Cop" FBI pair interrogating (F). Makes it a bit more meaningful. [link\|http://www.aaxnet.com\|AAx]
Post #20,837 by Ashton 12/9/01 5:49:37 PM Reply	Oops. Thanx - missed several mid-week. Will fix.
Post #20,865 by boxley 12/9/01 10:42:34 PM Reply	to be fair, looks like the gay republican whos partnered the liberal radio talk show host. thanx, bill tshirt front "born to die before I get old" thshirt back "fscked another one didnja?"
Post #20,841 by a6l6e6x 12/9/01 6:22:05 PM Reply	The real thing. [link\|http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/index20011208.htm\|Doonesbury] [link\|http://www.ucomics.com/sylvia/viewtmsyl.htm\|Sylvia.] [link\|http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/comics/Zippy_the_Pinhead.dtl\|Zippy.] [link\|http://www.ucomics.com/thefuscobrothers/viewfu.cfm?uc_full_date=20011208&uc_comic=fu&uc_daction=X\|Fusco Brothers] [link\|http://www.creators.com/comics_show.cfm?next=1&ComicName=wiz\|Wizard of Id] but you will have to select December 8, 2001 when it becomes available. Alex Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. -- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
Post #20,905 by inthane-chan 12/10/01 12:44:55 PM Reply	Zippy the Pinhead - if my memory serves me... (Been watching Iron Chef all weekend, so sue me!) The long-nosed one, if he has glasses, and looks eerily similar to George Bush (sr, not Shrub) then that's Shelf Life. "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

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