Wrong

Post #201,646

4/2/05 12:31:11 PM

Wrong

You don't have to enjoy all the same things to be a good couple

Bullshit.

Any couple who have a baseline physical attraction can start, but to maintain any sense of togetherness you HAVE to enjoy a large percentage of the same things. If not, this really means you are in it for the sex, and when someone else comes along that provides both the sex AND the companionship, you are gone.

Drop the engineer. He is the far extreme of your ex, and is the "safe" rebound material, but you have no long term hope.

Anyone who varies between sitting like a lump, and being terrified and about to bolt, needs a lot more on the pyche side than you are willing to provide, especially since your kids are your priority.

Modify your profile on the dating service a bit. Push up your fun-loving categories, your willingness to take a chance, etc. And go have some fun.

Post #201,649

by Another Scott

4/2/05 12:37:54 PM

Reread what I wrote.

I said all the same things.

You make some good points, but there's more to a relationship than whether they both enjoy and feel comfortable in crowded noisy bars or not. It's safe to say, isn't it, that our spouses don't enjoy doing stuff on the internet as much as we do? That doesn't mean we aren't compatible.

Remember, they chose each other because they already had a lot in common.

My $0.02.

Cheers,
Scott.

Post #201,653

by broomberg

4/2/05 1:17:44 PM

No they didn't

Remember, they chose each other because they already had a lot in common.

A computer did.
Based on a bullshit profile.
With code written by programmer who can be pretty sure that no matter who they match up, there will always be such a gray zone in the formula that it really does not matter who they join together.

So they match education level, income level, free time, and physical preferences.

That is a hell of amount of leeway.

Post #201,654

by Another Scott

4/2/05 1:48:36 PM

Well, you've got to start somewhere...

If she were so easy to match, why aren't there any more in [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=201640|SE Michigan]?

I'm not saying that she and Doug the Engineer are a perfect match. I'm just saying she (and he) should give it more time to see what happens. She doesn't know why he was antsy.

But it really depends on what they each are looking for. My father's mother got married during the Great Depression so that she would have a roof over her head. Charles got married to have an heir.

If bionerd is looking for someone to go to rowdy bars and sing drinking songs with when she's 65, then DtE might not be a good match. That sounds more like her ex to me. I don't think, though, that [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=201640|that's what she's looking for]. DtE has another plus too: She needs a [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=198742|babysitter]. ;-)

Cheers,
Scott.

Post #201,650

by imric

4/2/05 12:40:59 PM

4/2/05 12:42:04 PM

Agreed

It doesn't mean you have to agree on everything, but you have to both enjoy common activities.

And - Bionerd? Any guy that doesn't enjoy splashing into streams after salamanders has DEFINATELY lost touch with thier inner kid... How much fun can they be, in the long run?

Fun is serious business. It's IMPORTANT.

[link|http://www.runningworks.com|

]

Imric's Tips for Living

Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.

Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.

Edited by imric April 2, 2005, 12:42:04 PM EST

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Post #201,691

by folkert

4/2/05 8:15:36 PM

Just like you and yours...

She likes ripping you a new one and you just sit there and take it.

No, really some differences are really required to keep sparks a sparking.

Similar morals and ethics and general interests... that is all you need.

No matter how much Microsoft supporters whine about how Linux and other operating systems have just as many bugs as their operating systems do, the bottom line is that the serious, gut-wrenching problems happen on Windows, not on Linux, not on Mac OS. -- [link|http://www.eweek.com/article2/0,1759,1622086,00.asp|source]

Post #201,692

by broomberg

4/2/05 8:18:01 PM

As I have said many times

My role in this world is to lead as a bad example.

Note: The person you just spoke to me tagged me as a:
Don't Bee.

Referring the Children's Highlight comics (I think).

Post #201,693

by Another Scott

4/2/05 8:20:56 PM

More likely: Romper Room.

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