Subtitled, natch -
You Poor Bastards XIII

This mainframe support pilot fish transfers to the corporate data
security group when the big iron he's been supporting is slated to
become scrap iron.

"I'm given a task list of things to continue, as well as new
initiatives," fish says. "But I have trouble with one of my continuing
items -- reporting of server security violations -- since I can't find
the history data from prior months."

Fish contacts the people in charge of the various servers. They say the
security guy that fish replaced was responsible, and they don't know
anything about it.

Fish also talks to his new boss, who says he doesn't know anything
about where the history is kept or how the security review process was
done.

"So, given no procedures and no information, I start down the try-it
track," says fish. "I install the security software they purchased on
our server and run it. It gives a report showing various violations. I
install it on a few more servers. They all show multiple security
violations. I pass these reports to the server owners, who state they
have never seen these reports before."

Finally fish gets it: His predecessor wasn't sending out real security
reports. In fact, the reports never existed, because he wasn't even
running the security software. Which is why no one has ever seen the
reports, why there are no copies on file -- and why there are so many
security problems on so many servers.

So fish generates and sends out the 150 security reports, along with
requests for the security changes that will bring the servers into
compliance.

"Backlash is swift and whiny," fish says. "Most of the owners claim no
time to fix the various problems I've discovered. They question my
process and say that my predecessor was much better, since he dealt
with these issues on his own.

"My boss's response to the users to justify my action? None -- he
doesn't want to admit he allowed a staff member to work for him for a
year without doing anything but generating bogus monthly reports.

"I end up spending months of time visiting servers and making changes
to bring the various servers into compliance with security policy.

"And everyone is happy -- except me, of course."

The Tank of Sharks, of course.

What a Field!
All about Information.. and nobody has much that you can Trust
..working with Certifiable Blithering Idiots.. Daily


YPB, LLC
(Am so Grateful that I proved such a lousy PDP-8 programmer.. why, IF - -
I'd have been a suicide by now.)