while I agree I am responsible for my own actions and behavior, I do not agree that I am 100% responsible for my current condition. There are may outside factors that you've ignored, and you put all of the blame on me. Some people are jerks, negative behavior, etc. Sometimes conditions of life are harsh or unfair. These things I have no control over. I have no control, or little control if any, over my illness. Case in point it is a chemical imbalance, deSitter even knew this when he told me to get ECT to correct it. How can changing one's attitude correct a chemical imbalance? Answer: it cannot. Proper medicine and a proper diet to help correct the imbalance are needed. ECT is bad for me because I've seen side-effects on other people who had it, I even had a grandfather who had it and was blind. It didn't work for him, so I suspect being genetically related, it would not work for me. I might also end up blind. Just recently the virus infection I had caused temporary blindness, and that was scary enough for 15 minutes.

What works for other people, may not work for me. If it sounds like it won't work for me, or it sounds like bad advice, I am not going to do it.