TP his house while he's gone.
Better yet, TP him when he comes back.

Then, when he's blinded by the many layers of toilet tissue that we have thrown over his head, we grab his new PB and run like hell.

Okay, perhaps I wouldn't know a cunning plan if one came up to me, bit me on the a** and sang "Cunning plans are here today".

I can come over and help you drool on it, though, if you like.