The problem with the Segway isn't just its price or its bulk or its battery life -- it's the irrefutable argument that when one rides a Segway, one looks like a major dork.

By its very design, the Segway is uncommonly nerdy. I don't care if you're Justin Timberlake at the MTV Movie Awards or a meter maid in Fresno -- it ain't happening. And if there's one thing we know about Americans and their cars, motorcycles, boats and any other mode of transportation, it's that a high percentage of us will sacrifice gobs of money and even personal comfort, as long as we look cool as we zip around.