Post #113,162
8/8/03 2:11:47 AM
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iwethey.employed++
As of a bit over a week ago. I mentioned the offer in another forum a few weeks ago. Forgot I hadn't mentioned it here.
Tech support and tech writing for another industrial software company. Tiny competitor of the company I used to work for.
Good timing. The bitterness had just struck. I maintined a positive attitude for 20 months, and that turned out to be my limit. Another week and I couldn't have held back the venom during the interview.
I'm gratefull and enjoying the new job. Things are starting to turn around.
But I notice in my words - spoken and written - there is an edge. An undercurrent of unfocused anger. Sarcasm - crude and unclever - springs up easily and I have to edit if I'm writing or shut up if I'm talking, to avoid giving pain to people who don't deserve it and sounding like a jerk.
Dammit, I'm smart and too practical and too responsible for my own good. I worked my ass off for decades, kept up on the technology, focused on where the work was going, where I could be productive. I fucking did everything right. Everything. Did the stuff I should instead of what I wanted to.
Fuck that. Those days are over.
Yeah, I'll be giving this company the full crop of excellence. New boss has told me several times that I'm going way beyond what he expected. Because I want to. Because it's fun to do excellent work. And when it's not fun, when excellence isn't possible because mediority has taken over, I'll move on. I'll be able to, once I dig my way out of this hole I got myself in, because I'm never relying on a paycheck again. Here on out, I do what I want, I do it with excellence, I have fun, and I find people who recognize it and are willing to pay for it. Or not, and I'll starve. The alternative is to have my soul sucked out again and starve for some bastard's dream of another point or two of Return On Net Fucking Assets.
Next time I starve for my dreams, not somebody else's.
I guessed that somebody else here had decided to starve as a musician because that's better than starving as an IT profesional. I wasn't joking.
There is no future in doing it Properly. And even if there were, I'm no longer capable. The brain cow is tapped out. That dying megacorp took all my responsible respectable practical service and threw it away. Not even for money, just out of sheer stupidity. All of it. I don't have any more of that to give, even if I were so inclined. I'm serious - my brain just shuts down if I try to work. I can only play. Fortunately, I can play tech support, and I can play writing.
I'm not doing just one thing anymore. Ever.
The most profitable day I've worked in the last couple of years - counting now when I have a decent job - I was playing with my lathe, making - get this - magic wands out of bits of wood I had laying around. Made 11 of them that day. Sold them all to one customer, who was looking for 8 wands. I've made a few more when I felt like it, tossed them up on eBay, sold every one of them I didn't give to my kids. Profitable. Because they are excellent, because I'm playing and when I play I play very well.
Well, I guess I can't ask you guys for help next time I'm in the market, this kind of blew it. But if you want something done, and it's something that I have fun doing, and you want it done with excellence - excellence of both process and results, not perfectionism or pickiness - you know where to find me.
---- There is no windshield. There is no bug.
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Post #113,176
8/8/03 8:54:05 AM
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Congrats; I could have written the same stuff 10 years ago
When I finally gave up on working for the government. Like you, I can't not try my best at work. And when the employer has sucked out the life until I'm on my way to joining the rest of the uncaring masses there, it's time to quit and move on.
Good luck in your new cubicle.
Brian Bronson
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Post #113,180
8/8/03 9:18:30 AM
8/8/03 10:36:03 AM
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Hard to pick my favorite part of that
I haven't reached that point yet, but I can certainly see that I might. Your post should be the foreword to every business management course taught in the U.S. for the next 20 years, or however long it takes for people to realize how we've been screwing ourselves. Or until we becoem a third-rate player, whichever comes first. But if I had to pull the LRPD, it'd be this gem: Next time I starve for my dreams, not somebody else's. [edit: wrong word]
===
Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
Edited by drewk
Aug. 8, 2003, 10:36:03 AM EDT
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Post #113,203
8/8/03 12:24:31 PM
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Nah. Line above that one.
The alternative is to have my soul sucked out again and starve for some bastard's dream of another point or two of Return On Net Fucking Assets. Damn straight. Find some place you can excel for your reasons, not someone else's. Glad to hear you're on the way, Mike.
I'm gonna go build my own theme park! With Blackjack! And hookers! In fact, forget the park!
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Post #113,183
8/8/03 9:23:10 AM
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Re: iwethey.employed++
I know what you're saying - I think I've gone to an even more removed state of mind - I simply don't give a fuck about work, the country, or much of anything any more. I just gave up. I don't feel free in any sense, and it's suffocating.
-drl
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Post #113,187
8/8/03 10:09:34 AM
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In the interest of levity:
ObLRPD: Must be what keeps your hair up.
Stress kills. Do what you need to do to stay sane, Mike.
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #113,207
8/8/03 1:21:15 PM
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Absolutely right. Best of luck Mike!
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Post #113,195
8/8/03 11:15:12 AM
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Way to go!
This is how this country survives. Because of people like you think like you do. Thank you for making my day.
--
Less Is More. In my book, About Face, I introduce over 50 powerful design axioms. This is one of them.
--Alan Cooper. The Inmates Are Running the Asylum
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Post #113,209
8/8/03 2:09:04 PM
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That was me
that figured that starving as a musician was better than starving as an IT worker. It's still true, at least in the local market here; either you push the worst tool for the job on the clueless or you don't work.
To hell with that.
I'm still involved in IT, but I'm slowly minimising my exposure.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #113,220
8/8/03 4:00:05 PM
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That's good news, Mike.
And, about the New boss has told me several times that I'm going way beyond what he expected. Tell him he can pay for what he's getting is worth.
Alex
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw
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Post #113,361
8/9/03 10:21:36 PM
8/21/07 12:43:56 PM
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I'm with you man
Couldn't have said it better myself. Won't even try.
Glad things are looking up for you.
Smalltalk is dangerous. It is a drug. My advice to you would be don't try it; it could ruin your life. Once you take the time to learn it (to REALLY learn it) you will see that there is nothing out there (yet) to touch it. Of course, like all drugs, how dangerous it is depends on your character. It may be that once you've got to this stage you'll find it difficult (if not impossible) to "go back" to other languages and, if you are forced to, you might become an embittered character constantly muttering ascerbic comments under your breath. Who knows, you may even have to quit the software industry altogether because nothing else lives up to your new expectations. --AndyBower
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